I was in the bath reading last Thursday’s newspaper when I heard the unmistakable sound of Mr. Opus clearing this throat in the foyer. I had made only a modest dent in my stack of newspapers – I was a bit behind in my regimen, as I had been spending an inordinate amount of time shooting [...]
I can’t wait until we become a cashless society. The fact that we have to carry around green paper in our pockets all day is ridiculous. If you don’t believe me, re-read that last sentence. See what I mean? Ridiculous.
I get caught without cash at the worst times, like in parking lots. A line [...]
I find that it’s best not to leave those things to chance. Toying with the laws of physics is not the right way to decorate. Leave that to the professionals, like those grad students who walk around campus with chalk on their shirts, or those guys on Extreme Makeover.
Anyway, some [...]
They say there’s no party like a west coast party, because a west coast party doesn’t stop. And yet I seem to remember many west coast parties that came to a close, usually around 1 or 2 a.m., though some of the better ones continued at Mel’s Drive In or my living room or the corner [...]
It’s about time we paid homage to the great dictators of history. Tragedy plus time equals comedy, after all. And warmongering plus BBC specials equals entertainment. And dictatorships plus blogging equals my job.
Welcome news, then, that Napoleon Bonaparte is receiving the amusement-park treatment, and not a century too soon. By 2014, France [...]
The General Partner (visiting dignitary to All Up On That):
I need to get my deep-seated, subconscious personal vendetta against making good on deadlines back under control. It’ll happen. I’ve made a few mental starts to a post, with most of them using random office dialogue as a foundation.
The other day a colleague asked [...]
Mom: “What is ‘player hate?’”
Me: ‘Player hate’ is the phenomenon of one man resenting another man for his good fortunes, skills or accomplishments. You might be familiar with the bon mot, ‘Don’t hate the player, hate the game.’”
Mom: “Yes, I am.”
Me: “A man is generally discouraged from hating the player.”
I’m back in LA recuperating from an epic weekend at Summit Basecamp, where I had the chance to spend time with two guys who have played major roles in North Korea and Libya over the past several years. Where else would I sit down with real-life superheroes and talk about overthrowing governments?
You know my [...]
Marketers are tapped out. Commercials are lame. Ads suck. It seems impossible to get people to hype your stuff.
So my friends and I developed a few killer marketing techniques that no one is using. And we’re not geniuses. We’re just extremely talented, imaginative human beings. (There’s a reason it’s called All Up On That.)
Enjoy. Use. [...]